(Credit: @jayge instagram- for featured photo)

In life, we will always encounter people whose actions or attitudes don’t make sense to us. Maybe it’s a child who can’t seem to sit still in class, a co-worker who always seems irritable, or even a loved one who pushes us away when we try to get close. Our natural instinct is often to ask: “What’s wrong with you?”

But here’s the truth: asking “What’s wrong with you?” closes doors. It labels, judges, and leaves little room for growth or healing. Instead, imagine the impact if we shifted our mindset and asked: “What happened to you?”

That single change in language has the power to transform relationships. It replaces blame with compassion. It takes us from pointing fingers to extending a hand. And most importantly, it communicates this powerful truth: “I see you. I care. Your story matters.”

When we ask “What happened to you?”, we choose empathy over assumption. We recognize that behavior is often a reflection of someone’s experiences, not their worth. A child acting out might be crying for stability. An adult withdrawing might be carrying the weight of grief. Everyone has a story, and sometimes the greatest gift we can give is the space to share it.

This shift is not about excusing harmful behavior, it’s about seeking to understand the why behind it. Understanding leads to healing, while judgment builds walls. When we approach others with compassion, we create environments where trust can grow and change can happen.

The truth is, you have the power to make someone feel seen and valued simply by the way you choose to ask your questions. The words you use can either tear down or lift up. Imagine how different the world would be if more of us led with curiosity and kindness instead of criticism.

So today, make a choice: seek to understand first. The next time you find yourself frustrated or confused by someone’s behavior, pause. Take a breath. And instead of asking “What’s wrong with you?”, try asking “What happened to you?”

You might be surprised at the doors that open, the walls that fall, and the healing that begins.

✨ “Understanding is the first step to healing and healing begins with compassion.” #LEAP

(Credit: @jayge instagram- for featured photo)